A snaperdoodle is a greasy cookie made of misery and loathing.
My name is Ali. I'm 20, and I am the Half-Blood Princess.
I am a Nerdfighter, a Potterhead, a Whovian, Sherlocked, a theatre geek, a Jesus freak, a bibliophile, and a Starkid.
In science class, talking about certain properties of substances and what a "Property" is. My science teacher asks me to stand up and ask the class for some of my properties. (FYI I am female and fully identify as such, but this was still a cool thing to say on my teacher's behalf)
- first kid: red hair!
- teacher: (immediately nods and writes "red hair" on board) yup, that is one of alex's properties, sure.
- another kid: brown eyes!
- teacher: (nods and writes on board)
- yet another kid: freckles
- teacher: all great answers, (writes on board) anything else?
- Lets call him Bob: Shes a girl
- Teacher: (Pauses, looks at me, then back at the kid) Well it's not my place to confirm that, besides, you have no idea whether Alex is a girl or not.
- Bob: Well she's got boobs
- Teacher: (Doesnt even get mad at the smartassish response, just nods calmly) Yes, now, having boobs is a property. Gender on the other hand is much less physical, and a lot more mental. Just because she has body parts that are recognized generally on females, does not mean that she's female herself. So why don't we say, instead of "she's a girl" we'll just say she has boobs
- Teacher: (writes on board "Alex has boobs")
Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
If I stop reblogging this assume I’m dead
My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)